Singing Songs in my Head
by BlueSparx
Summary: She could hear his angelic voice, even after two years. He haunted her dreams and thoughts. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?
1. Singing Songs in my Head

A.N After the great response I got for my last POTO fic, Eyes (please read!), I was encouraged to write a longer one. This fic is more movie/musical based than book, so if any specific details are wrong, I'm sorry!

Disclaimer: I don't any of the characters you recognise. The ones you don't, however, belong to me.

Singing Songs in my Head 

It was him again.

She could still picture his face, clear as day. She could hear his angelic voice, even after two years. He haunted her dreams and thoughts. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

Christine sighed quietly and closed her eyes. But he was there again. It was hopeless.

She managed to free herself from Raoul's comforting embrace without waking him. A miracle, really, as he was such a light sleeper.

"Christine…" he whispered in his dreams. She smiled slightly.

Her life was perfect. She had a loving husband, who gave her everything she ever wanted. She had lost count on the number of times he had come home with a bunch of beautiful red roses or a box of chocolates, and every time it still surprised her.

Their wedding day was beautiful. She was obviously nervous to begin with but she felt like a princess, walking down the aisle and seeing Raoul's smile. Soon, all her fears had faded away.

Christine walked over to the window, playing with the diamond wedding ring on her finger.

Yes, her life truly _was _perfect.

But even in paradise, there is trouble.

It started as a dull ache, about a year ago. Sometimes she didn't even feel it, like when she when she was kissing Raoul or enjoying herself at a party, but she knew it was still there. But recently, it had grown into a pain in her chest; especially when she was alone and had time to think. And some nights, like tonight, it was unbearable.

Then his face started to appear. The first time this happened, she woke up suddenly, gasping for breathe and shaking. She hadn't it seen it for so long, that it frighten her. Raoul woke up too, concern etched on his face. He had comforted her, reminding her that it was just a nightmare.

But she never told him what she saw.

Now, when he woke up asking what happened, she always told him it was a 'nightmare'. She hated lying to him, but she would feel ever more guilty if he had to carry this burden. No, she couldn't do that to him, not after all he had done for her.

Even though she called it a 'nightmare', she wasn't afraid anymore. Sometimes, when she had had a bad day, it was (although she hated to admit it) somewhat comforting. But then that pain in her chest would intensify tenfold and she would wake up like she had done for so many nights now.

Christine signed, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the window and closing her eyes. The sleepless nights were catching up on her. Why couldn't he leave her in peace?

But deep down, in the very bottom of her heart, she knew he would never leave. And she also knew the reason why.

Although she would never admit it Raoul, or ever herself for that matter.

She missed him

A.N Well that's the start. It's quite short but so will most of the chapters in this story. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review!

Katy


	2. Stumbles and Falls

A.N Sorry it's taken me a while. Here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

**Stumbles and Falls**

The sunlight poured through the window. Christine woke up then next morning after, eventually, getting a few hours sleep. Raoul was not in their bed. Slightly concerned, she sat up and looked around the room. He wasn't there.

She walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen. There was a note on the table next her breakfast.

_Dearest Christine,_

_I'm so sorry. I have been called away to attend to some business. I shall be home some when in the afternoon. Please accept my deepest apologies._

_With Love,_

_Raoul._

She smiled slightly. Raoul was always so apologetic when he had to go away. You could always tell he wanted nothing more than to stay with her.

After last night, Christine was determined not to let him interfere in her marriage again. She would erase him from all her thoughts and then maybe, she could forget him and move on.

Maybe. Just maybe.

After getting dressed, she decided to go for a short walk in the park. Maybe the fresh air would help her with her fresh start.

* * *

It was a beautiful summer's morning. The flowers were in bloom; the whole park was covered in rich colours. The birds singing in the trees mixed with the sound of children's laughter and the smells of the bakery filled the air. Christine felt like she had stepped into a storybook picture.

It was easy forget about him in a place like this; it was so different to his underground lair of dark and despair. And it was also easy, as she soon found out, to forget to watch where you were walking.

Christine gasped as she tripped over a root of a tree. She stumbled and hit her head on the ground. _Christine, you silly girl._

She sat up slowly, as she tried to focus on her surroundings. But she soon remembered where she was and tried to stand up, feeling slightly embarrassed as some people walked by. But a pain in her ankle forced her to stay on the ground.

"Are you alright, Madam?"

Christine looked to see a man bending over her. He had a concerned expression on his face.

"No," she replied quietly. "My ankle…"

"Let me have a look."

He took her ankle in both hands. "Now, does this hurt?"

He twisted her ankle very slowly. He sharp intake of breath was enough to answer his question. He let it go instantly.

"I'm afraid you've twisted it badly, Madame. Will you allow me to take you home?"

Christine nodded slightly.

He pulled her up and put her arm around his shoulders. "Now, rest all you weight on me. Try not to put any pressure on that ankle."

They started to walk. "Where do you live?" the man asked.

"In the de Chagney household."

"The de Chagney house?" The man seemed slightly surprised.

"Yes, I'm the Viscomte's wife."

They did not talk for the rest of the journey. In her pain, Christine did not notice the man's slightly amused expression.

* * *

"Christine!"

Raoul ran towards her, seeing the pain in her eyes. "What happened?"

He took her from the man and put her down in a chair. "She fell over in the park and badly twisted her ankle. I saw her and brought her home."

"Thank you, Sir," Raoul said.

"Make sure she doesn't put any pressure on it for the next few days. If you'll excuse me Viscomte, I must be going. Good day Sir, Madame"

He tipped his hat to both of them, as Raoul gently led Christine to her bedroom and called one of the servants to fetch some more pillows.

The man walked out onto the street, heading in a completely different direction from the one he was going in before.

A.N O.K, guys I need to ask a favour here. I've never read the book, but for this story, I need one of the characters from it. If any of you can give me a description of Nadir (is that right?), I'd really appreciated it. Please review!


	3. Black and White

A.N Thanx for your lovely reviews. I appreciate every single one of them.

Now this chapter has no plot whatsoever. I just wanted to get some Erik in here. Enjoy!

**Black and White**

His fingers danced across the keys, mesmerising anyone fortunate enough to watch them. Which so far, had only been one person.

Sometimes he gave them a gentle tap, when the music was soft and quiet. Other times, he hit them with all the power he could muster. Nowadays, it was mostly the latter.

This was his way of releasing all the anger, fury and emotion inside of him.

Music was his only friend. She was always there for him. She never left him, never betrayed him, never denied him. She was happy just to be played and heard once in a while.

If he needed a shoulder to cry on, Music was there. If he needed a way to release his frustration, she was there. And if one day, he needed someone to share his joy with, she would be there.

But the last would never happen. Not without _her_.

In his fury, he pounded out the last note. The eerie sound echoed around the other wise silent room.

_Stupid fool!_

He had spent so long trying to forget her. Her slender body and skin that felt like silk to touch. The long, brown curls that framed her perfect, angelic face…

_Stop it! Stop tormenting yourself!_

He really had tried to move on. He now lived in house above ground, still in Paris however. Paris was the closest place he had to a home, even though _she_ was just…

He violently slammed the keys again. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Hadn't she tormented him enough, leaving him alone with nothing?

Then why did he still love her?

For a while he just stared at the keys of his organ. In some ways, he was just like Music. His life would never have any colour without her; it would always be in black and white.

A.N Sorry that was so short but I'm hoping to but another up tonight…if you review nicely!


	4. Forgetting

A.N Thanx to everyone for your kind reviews. I'm going to say thank you to a few of your personal but I really appreciate all of them. Oh and Aleeza- I've tried to follow your advice in this chapter. Thanx for the suggestion and your review was very encouraging!

Thanx to everyone who tried to help on the Nadir thing. I've decided to go for my own interpretation of him. Oh and in the book, I think he helps Raoul to get Christine back. Well, I've never read the book so I'm going to assume that didn't happen. I just need him as a character, someone who knows Erik.

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

* * *

**Forgetting**

Nadir crossed the silent street, blending in to the shadows. Although he shouldn't have worried. This side of the city was quiet and almost desolate; there were hardly any shops and there were parks or gardens at all. You only lived here if you were the poorest of the poor…or if you needed somewhere to hide.

The house that Nadir entered was one of the few on the street that hadn't fallen into disrepair. It looked almost grand compared to the others. But on closer, it looked just the same. Cold draughts blew though the gaps in the doorframe. The walls crumbled and the floorboards creaked with every step you took.

Nadir stepped into the hallway. The house reeked, as if someone had died.

_Which isn't far off the truth_, Nadir thought.

He opened the door to the sitting room slightly to see what his friend was doing. As usual, he was sitting at his organ, writing something down on a piece of manuscript and then playing it, stopping suddenly when he thought of a new idea.

Nadir was just about to close the door again and knock when Erik spoke without even turning around.

"Your early, Nadir."

Nadir signed and opened the door fully. He stepped into the dimly lit room and looked around, hoping to see something and changed.

It hadn't. Sheets of music still lay on the floor, crumpled and yellowing. The walls were bare and everything was covered in dust, except the organ.

"I would have thought you would have learnt by now, Nadir. I always catch you." Erik still hadn't lifted his head from his music.

"Well maybe one day I'll catch you doing something other than sitting at that organ!"

Erik looked around at his friend slowly and then turned back to his music. He was obviously not amused.

Nadir was to use to his friends coldness to be offended. In fact, every time Erik did something like that, he just felt more pity towards his friend.

Nadir signed and stepped out into the kitchen. He washed up the mugs he had used on his last visit and filled up the kettle. Erik's haunting melody came from the organ. It was a mixture of hate and betrayal. But then again, it always was.

Erik had never felt much joy in his life. He was always alone and full of anger. His only chance for happiness had been ripped away from him by that girl, Christine. From what he had seen of her (and from what Erik described), she seemed a sweet, innocent and beautiful girl.

But she tore Erik and his heart to pieces. She left him, broken and alone in his lair, which was already filled to the brim with despair.

He didn't realise who she was when he met her early that day. He recognised her vaguely, but it was only after she said she lived in the de Changy household that he realised it was Christine.

Nadir wasn't sure if Christine recognised him, but she was trusting towards him. To take her mind off the pain on the journey home, Nadir talked to her. She was witty and sweet. She said thank you hundreds of times and was very apologetic about stopping him from going about his business. Of course, being a gentleman, Nadir said it was no problem at all.

For the short while that he was at the de Changy house, he could how much she loved and trusted the Viscount. She allowed him to carry her up to her bedroom, her head on his shoulder. She really was a sweet girl and being happy was what she deserved.

But Erik did not deserve sorrow. He had had too much of that in his life.

Nadir sighed again as he poured the hot water into the cups. He really wanted to help Erik. He just didn't know how.

He carried the two cups back into the sitting room. He put one on top of the organ. Erik didn't say anything but Nadir knew that he was grateful.

Nadir sat down in one of the dusty chairs. Usually, the two friends sat together without talking, just grateful to be in the others company. But today the silence seemed uncomfortable with Nadir and he knew the reason why. It was because of his encounter with Christine. He felt slightly guilty about being friendly to her now, after seeing again what she had did to his friend.

He had to tell Erik. Maybe it would help him move on to know that she was happy.

Nadir took a deep breath. It was worth a try.

"I saw Christine today."

Erik's reaction was not what Nadir was expecting. He stiffened and stopped writing for a few seconds, but then carried on.

"Who?"

Nadir was puzzled.

"Christine. I saw her today. In the park."

"I have no idea who you are talking about. Now if you would be so kind, I would like you to leave. I have a lot of work to do."

Nadir sat in the chair for a few moments longer, just staring in bewilderment at Erik, not quite sure to believe what was going on. Erik's manner had not changed at all at the mention of her. He was still working on his precious music, not even glancing in Nadir's direction.

Nadir stood up slowly and walked over to the door, his eyes never leaving Erik's face. He wanted to say something but knew better than to carry on. He silently left the house and back onto the street.

As soon as heard the front door slam shut, Erik's façade melted. He held his head in his hands for a few minutes and took a few deep breaths. He then carried on with his work.

He had ignored every fibre in his being not to jump up and ask Nadir how she was. But he knew the only way to forget her, was to pretend she never existed.

* * *

A.N I'm not too sure about this chapter. Please review and tell me what you think.

Katy


	5. Thoughts and Dreams can be Dangerous Thi...

A.N So sorry about the wait but I've going between this and my POTC story, She's a Pirate (please read!) Anyway, here's chapter 5.

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

**Thoughts and Dreams can be Dangerous Things**

Christine hated being waited upon, but she had no choice in the matter. Her ankle was slowly getting better but she was still bed ridden.

The window didn't help either. The sun poured through it and the sounds and smells of the Parisian streets tormented her. She made sure no one opened the curtains so she wouldn't be able to see outside.

But the thing that annoyed her most was the fact that none of this was helping her new bid for freedom from him. Being alone in a dark room gave her the perfect opportunity to think…especially about him.

Tonight was the same. As she lay in her bed, her ankle started to throb with pain. She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. She waited for him to appear…but he never came.

Instead her ears filled with the sound of his music. The sound of a lullaby he once played her. It wasn't his normal music, which was filled with depression and hate, but a soft, soothing melody that made her relax. She started to hum along to the music in her head and soon she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The next few nights were the same. Her ankle would start to hurt but she didn't care. In fact, she wanted her ankle to throb, just so she could hear him play. She started to remember the words to the piece and caught herself singing along more than once. Every night he played for her, and every night she fell asleep smiling.

* * *

Raoul stood outside her room, listening intently to her sweet voice. She hadn't sung for a while but her voice was as wonderful as ever. He hated 'spying' on her like this. He turned the doorknob slowly, still debating whether to go in or not. He thought better of it; her voice had faded so she was probably asleep now anyway.

He slowly walked down to the library and poured himself a brandy. He sat in his favourite chair and slowly sipped the drink, his mind racing with thoughts.

Raoul was worried when she didn't want her curtains opened. She usually insisted that all house was bright and that all the windows were open. Why did she want to stay in the darkness now?

Now there was the singing. He didn't recognise the melody, but Raoul wasn't a fool. He knew that _he _must have composed it. That's why he hadn't heard Christine sing it around the house. She usually sang everything under the sun expect anything he had written.

So why had she started singing it now? He already knew the answer to that…_comfort_.

But he offered he comfort. He held her, read to her, kissed her and she accepted gladly. She could see it in her eyes; she wasn't lying when she said she needed him…wasn't that enough?

_No_ answered the quiet voice in the back of his mind, _obviously not_.

He sighed and slowly got up from his chair. He walked up the stairs and silently waited outside her room. She wasn't singing- she must by asleep.

He quietly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. On the bed lay an angel, her mahogany curls spread across a white pillow and a small smile playing on her lips.

He slowly moved round to the side of the bed and sat in the chair next to it. He smiled and played with her hair.

"Christine." He whispered softly. She did not stir. He didn't want her to. "Are you happy with me here? That's all I want for you- happiness."

She moved slightly and a small sound escaped her lips- the sound of that lullaby.

Tears sprang to Raoul's eyes and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to control them. He slowly stood up and kissed her cheek. He walked across the room and with last glance at her sleeping form, he shut the door with a soft click.

He would not deny her the comfort that she found in sleep and inhismusic, but now he knew. She may not admit it or even know it yet, but deep down inside, in the darkest and most secret parts of her soul, she yearned for him.


End file.
